Getting Engaged

Second Proposal

So by now you probably know that I got engaged without any bling – how untraditional of me.  But that only meant that the best was yet to come.  After all, I did know what “the best” meant – my Leo Diamond obviously!  After countless hours in the mall, Right was so jubilant once we finally picked out the ring, that we then headed over to Per Se to celebrate – such a sweetheart, first he bought the ring, then he celebrated by buying an expensive dinner (he’s such a quick learner).  Now we’re no Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise and we are not into all that PDA (public display of affection for those of you who don’t know), but I wanted some sort of emotional something when he slipped that sucker onto my finger.  I didn’t want him to just hand me the box and walk away.  I was basically waiting for a second mini proposal.

After spending all that time researching the ring I was so excited to finally get it.  On my list of Favorites in my web browser, I now had the sites: About Diamond Cuts, Brilliant Proposals, and Selecting a Diamond, just to name a few.  I was scaring myself, to tell you the truth.  I was also embarrassed for anyone else to see this list, but all this research had definitely made me into the Diamond guru – something that made Right so proud I’m sure. 

I assumed that Right would give me the ring some place keeping within the zoo theme of his proposal, but the scene of the crime was actually Chelsea Piers – although one could think that it does stick to the animal theme since there are tons of wild and crazy kids running around that place.

Anyway, I was teeing up getting ready to practice my, let’s just say “shaky” golf swing, when Right handed me a box with golf gloves.  Being an amateur golfer, getting a pair of golf gloves, especially from a real golfer, means I’m moving up in the world.  I open up the box, and it’s a Ring Only Golf Glove, a golf glove made specifically for a woman who wears her engagement ring while playing golf.  It has this cute little hole for that ring to stick out, so that you can show it off on the golf course to all those other hotsy-totsy women.

I then proceeded to tell Right that I don’t have my ring yet, and the next thing I know, he’s down on one knee and that Leo Diamond is practically blinding me with all its sparkle and shine.  I grabbed the ring, put it on, and then hit some of the best golf swings of my entire life…   

How To Tell If a Diamond is Fake or Real

How do you tell real diamonds from fake ones?  The same way you tell real men from fake ones.

Let’s face it, there are a lot of men; and not all of them are totally upfront. Come on ladies, you know what I’m talking about. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty very upstanding gentlemen out there, the kind that open the cab door for you, or offer you their coat or notice when you’ve lost weight. But there are also the ones that we all know far too well, who have to “work late at the office,” or admire legs attached to someone else’s Manolos, or change the channel during the season finale of “America’s Next Top Model!” I mean, what kind of heartless freak doesn’t sympathize with Tyra Banks’ philanthropic offering of a possible Cover Girl contract to the starving teens and twenty-somethings of America?

This brings me to the question I have been pondering this week: How do you know if your man is a diamond in the rough? I would like to impart some relationship advice that has continued to ring true since the day that a famed naked girl bit into an apple: the most important thing to look for in a partner is …. HONESTY!

My friend Lacey is dating this guy who seemed to be absolutely fabulous. He is smart and savvy and very New York.  This metropolitan dreamboat fulfilled Lacey’s every fantasy. She grew up in Southern Georgia and came to the big city with an MBA from Harvard Law (she’s a smart cookie) and a hankering for an MRS from someone exactly like Brad. And last week, Lacey got her wish, a proposal in central park accompanied by a spectacular two carat coconut… a very exotic fruit for this humble Georgia Peach, but it was “only the best for his southern bell.”

Now, Lacey explained to me over drinks at Suede that her parents insisted on the rings’ appraisal, she hinted that her parents would have subtly fed the value into the small town’s gossip mill. She went to the diamond district to get the ring appraised, where her view of Brad, once hazy, as she was blinded by the rock on her finger, was surprisingly crystal clear, or should I say Cubic Zirconia clear! That’s right ladies, this was no diamond, this was a LIE-AMOND!

“I just don’t know what to do, I just don’t know if I can believe anything he says anymore,” Lacey confessed to me as a salty tear dirtied her martini, “I thought he was a good one.”

I couldn’t tell Lacey whether she should ditch this faux-ancé, but I did inform her that there are many synthetic diamonds on the market today that are virtually impossible to detect. One of these brands is Diamonique.  These are fabulous to wow your girlfriends, but not-so-fabulous when passed off to a girlfriend from a not-so-fabulous man as the real deal. And by the way, any fine diamond you’d want should come with diamond certification.  So, if he can’t show you the paper, don’t sign you life away on the dotted line.

In conclusion girls; honesty is the best policy. Know how to tell a real diamond from a fake one.  Know how to tell a real guy, the real deal, from one who’s not. Don’t stop searching for that diamond in the rough, but just remember to be cautious. Because if you allow yourself to be fooled, and don’t decide to lose a liar, you could lose the opportunity not only for a fine piece of jewelry, but for a fine future!

The Right Proposal

 

I’m usually brutally honest, but right now I’m going to be “delicately” honest, and that’s only because I’m going to talk about the most honest subject of all, when someone professes his love to you – of course I prefer when that’s complemented by the action, i.e. the giving of a stunning rock. The most important thing about a proposal – besides the fact that I always dreamed about how it would sweep me off my feet - is that you, one human being out of the billions on this planet, have miraculously fallen in love with someone else, another human being that you’ve managed to find. It’s the moment when you’ve found your fish, out of the vast many in the sea, and you’re asked to spend the rest of your life swimming together. For any two people madly in love, this is an incredible moment no matter how or where it takes place.

 

I’m sure many guys in particular feel this enormous pressure to stage some spectacular proposal event. In fact, some delay the proposal for months or even a year trying to figure out how to make it just right (I would have killed Right if he’d done that), while trying to find the perfect AND affordable diamond engagement ring that will make her eyes pop out. Since I’m sometimes guilty of being a hopeless romantic, it was the asking that counted for me and not how he did it. I didn’t want to wait for a whole song and dance - like skydivers spelling out “Will you marry me?” - I wanted instant gratification.

 

But I’m definitely not everywoman. I’d say that one of the most important things about proposing is knowing your audience, in addition to the ring size of course. If the girl of your dreams is shy, don’t blurt out your proposal in the middle of a huge crowd. And if she’s the serious type, then don’t even think about mooning her with the words “Marry me” painted you know where, unless you’re looking for a way out. If you really want to get some great ideas to sweep her off her feet, then go to www.brilliantproposals.com. (I tried emailing this website to Right).

 

Right’s proposal to me was entirely unplanned which is why I loved it. The thing about Right and me is that we have always felt totally relaxed and comfortable with each other, no matter the situation. From the day we met, it was like we’ve known each other forever. With other guys I dated, I had to think up conversation topics before the date, in order to avoid those horrible silent and awkward moments. With Right, it’s the exact opposite – just having him around has always felt “right” to me.

 

As you probably already know, we worked in the same office at the time. We usually had lunch together everyday, him having his Sabrett with mustard, relish, sauerkraut, sometimes onions, and a Diet Coke from one of the million Mahattan hot dog vendors we passed on the way to Central Park, while, while I was munching away on my huge salad. Okay, okay, yes, I admit I did break down and have a hotdog with him every so often, but I always went to a spinning class afterwards. But on this particular spring day, when the cherry blossoms in the park were gorgeous, pink and in full bloom, we moseyed along to look at the animals in the Central Park Zoo. We stopped to look at these really long, lanky apes with white furry cheeks called gibbons. There were two big ones holding hands, while their baby did somersaults in the cage. The description of the gibbons said (and I didn’t make these up):

 

• Monogamous      mating habits – seem to mate for life

 

• Female      gives birth to single child – stays with parents for number of years –      both parents share child-rearing responsibility

 

All of a sudden, Right said, “I want us to be like them. I want to be in the same room with you for the rest of my life, only without the bars (I’d hope so). I want us to have kids together. And I want you to marry me.” He didn’t have the prerequisite diamond engagement ring to pull out of his pocket in a velvet box, but at that moment I didn’t care. (Well, I did care but at least this way I was able to participate in the engagement ring shopping and able to “guide” him in picking it out, which was a stroke of brilliance because I got a stunningly brilliant ring.  Much more on that later.   These were the sweetest words I ever heard, and I loved him all the more for the spontaneity of it.

 

I laughed out loud and told him I wanted to marry him too. Then as I’m sure you can guess, we never went back to the office that day…

Tom Cruise Proposal

Who would of thought?  It’s the talk of the town – Tom Cruise’s Proposal.  I always assumed I’d be the one walking down the aisle with my Tommy (sorry Right, but I’m sure you’d say the same thing about Angelina Jolie.  We’ve had such a long relationship, with me being ever so faithful since I first laid my eyes on him in Top Gun – I remember the feeling of my heart fluttering.  So naturally, when I heard the news that he cheated on me and was engaged, I couldn’t believe it.  Forget about the fact that Tom Cruise proposed to another woman, it’s more that, it’s Katie Holmes, Ms. Dawson’s Creek herself, someone who was too young to even watch Top Gun when it was released.  When they initially went public with their relationship, everyone, including myself, thought it was a publicity stunt.  Unfortunately, I guess we’ve been proven wrong.

So now let’s get down to the nitty gritty – HOW he did it.  How did Tom Cruise propose?  I’m sure “how to propose” is usually a paramount question in most guys’ minds when they get to “that” point.  Should it be over the top, or more on the subtle side?  (Tom obviously did not go for subtle with anything in this relationship.)  Below is a short checklist from an article I’d like to share with you that I found on the MSN website on Tom and if he did it right, and more importantly, to help make sure all you men out there do it right when your time comes.  These are things to think about and be careful of when coming up with the proposal…

• Proposing prematurely
• It’s not about you
• Too complicated
• Being too hard on yourself
• Forcing the issue

We’ve all seen by now the pictures of Tom Cruise proposing in Paris atop of the Eiffel Tower, but let’s be realistic– this is not your normal situation (although the Central Park Zoo does remind me slightly of the Eiffel Tower and its surrounding park).  Guys, tell your ladies to forget Paris.  All they’re hoping for anyway is something romantic, something she’ll always remember – that shouldn’t be too hard, should it?! 

Think of this as that age-old saying that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”  All that matters is that the proposal is perfect in her eyes, and not in anyone else’s.  And if you want to get some great ideas including dos and don’ts, check out Brilliant Proposals.

One last piece of advice – don’t take too long to come up with the proposal; that is, unless you want her to propose to you and that’s a different story all together…