Getting Engaged

Dresses and Diamonds

I’ve always had a hard time picking out clothing. With so many options available, it’s so hard to decide on the perfect outfits without blowing the bank! But there is always the option of buying multiple things. A woman can buy more than one pair of shoes/jeans/skirts/dresses etc. However, a woman can only buy one wedding dress. One. The pressure is definitely there to pick the “perfect” one. Something so hard because there are so many beautiful choices available , and there’s no turning back on your decision! The same holds true for a spouse, but sometimes you find that some women make a bigger deal about picking out their gowns than picking out their spouse! Little by little, they make all of their friends and families crazy with their pursuit of the “perfect dress.” Don’t become the infamous bridezilla everyone dreads!

First there is analyzing your body type. Are you tall, thin, petite, hourglass, pear-shape, apple shape, reverse pear shape etc. The list seems to go on forever! Depending on what shape you are, chances are you would look best in a certain style gown. Once you decide on what style gown would be the most flattering on your body, you should determine what style you like. Are you interested in a traditional gown, modern gown, avant-garde gown, or a bathing suit like the one Pamela Anderson wore for her wedding to Kid Rock. (I’m just kidding on that one!)

If you’re not really sure what type of gown fits your style, make a point to flip through as many bridal magazines as possible. My personal favorite is Elegant Bride  magazine, but I also love Modern Bride. Tear out any page that features a dress you like, and bring these pictures with you when you go shopping for the dress. This will help the saleswoman get a better idea of what type of style you like.

After you’ve thought about a general idea of what you would like, start shopping! Visit as many boutiques and stores as you can. Try on as many designs and dresses as possible. Designer cuts their dresses differently, so it’s important to try and find the dress that is cut right for you. I personally loved the way Monique Lhullier dresses look on me, while my friend swears by Melissa Sweet.

Once you’ve chosen the perfect gown: accessorize! If you’re lucky, you probably already have the staple- a Leo Diamond ring. It goes with everything! However, for your special day and your perfect dress, it’s important to make sure the look is complete! Leo Diamond stud earrings from Kay Jewelers , or a Leo diamond solitaire pendant from Jared’s will go with any dress. Visit your local jeweler with a picture of your dress and ask them for advice. They’ll be more than happy to advise you on the perfect diamond accessorize.

Men, Wedding Registries and Diamonds (of course!)

I know I’ve written about men and diamonds in the past, but I just have to get something off my chest – in the past week, I’ve seen THREE men wearing diamond rings (I wonder if there’s a men’s Leo Diamond.  How weird is that.  One of the guys was even wearing two diamond rings, one on each finger.  Needless to say, he might have been playing for the other team, but that’s beside the point.  And the other two men I saw were just plain old regular guys – one probably in his 20s and the other in his 50s.  I thought that we’re the only ones who should be wearing rocks - the spotlight is supposed to be on our fingers and no one else’s!!  Apparently I was wrong and there’s a new trend emerging.

This leads me to my next point – we obviously get a diamond for getting engaged, but what about the men?  Are the wedding presents really also meant to be gifts for the men? And, when it comes to registering for gifts, do you think people really keep the men in mind when they buy a present?

In my humble opinion, before I thought about taking the plunge, I always assumed that registering is all about the kitchenware-type items and the groom is never part of this process (although that’s before I knew all these stores, like Bloomingdales , have this really cool “gun” to zap gift choices with).  But guess what, I was wrong (imagine that, me wrong)!  Right wanted to be involved every step of the way, and I’m sure he’s not the only guy out there like that.  When I asked my sister about how registering went for her, she said that her man was insane and had more opinions than she did on their dishes  ! 

So what’s appropriate?  If we aren’t going to buy our future hubbies a diamond when getting engaged, I guess it’s only right to let them come with us to register.  This way, they can also pick out things that they’d want as gifts (although hopefully most of our guests will sway towards buying the sensible items, the ones us women picked).  This way, we kill two birds with one stone (and I don’t mean a diamond) – we don’t have to buy our men gifts, yet they think they’re picking the wedding gifts they want. Therefore, if we allow our men to register at Home Depot, just think that when we get all those power tools as gifts, our husbands will have no choice but to use them to do all the home improvement work around the house.

An alternative to all of this, if you’re interested in what celebrities like Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban are doing nowadays, it’s not really registering at all.  Instead, they’re opting for a charity registry .  Imagine that – giving up all your gifts for the sake of charity.  I guess if I were a celebrity and had everything in the world I could dream of (and probably been married more than once so I would have done the wedding registry thing already), I can see doing this.  But being that it’s me, and I’m marrying Right, you can bet your Leo Diamond that I want my registry!

Or then again, here’s another celebrity trend, which sounds mighty fine.  Tiffani Thiessen (to me, she’ll always be Kelly Kapowski from Saved By The Bell)  ) set up a honeymoon registry.  This registry allows guests to pay for anything from breakfast in bed all the way to the airfare for your honeymoon.  Why Nicole didn’t follow Tiffani’s lead is beyond me! 

Whoever thought of this registering thing is just as brilliant as a Leo Diamond!

Brilliant Diamonds and Mothers-In-Law

It’s an age old story. Boy meets Girl. Girl and Boy fall in love. Girl meets Boy’s Mother. Girl and Mother do not get along. Girl and Boy start arguing.

When I first met Right’s mother, I was nervous about all the horror stories I had heard from friends and had seen in movies. When it comes to meeting their child’s significant other, it seems that otherwise normal parents can become a little crazy. Whether it may be because their personalities clash, or like Bunny in Sex and the City simply want to control their child’s life, it seems as though there is so much potential for a negative relationship. How many times has there been a movie that portrayed the in-law dynamic as a positive one vs. a negative one? Exactly.

Right always spoke very highly of his mother, about how classy and elegant she was. That is why when I met her I made sure to wear my low-heel black Manolo Blahniks , my Chanel purse, my Leo diamond stud earrings, and the beautiful Leo diamond pendant Right had bought for me at Kay’s. Elegant and classy from head to toe! I even got my hair blow-dried at Fredrick Fekkai! Worth every penny. Still nervous however,  I even read up on tips on getting along with your in-laws!

I remember waiting anxiously in the lobby of the Pierre hotel across from Central Park, Right trying to calm me down by repeatingly reminding me that his mother wasn’t a monster, and me being so anxious and nervous that I almost started biting on my recent OPI manicure. I remember a feeling of calm that swept over me when Right’s mother finally arrived (after what seemed like forever!) and introduced herself. From the Ashoka ring on her left hand, to the beautiful Leo Diamond tennis bracelet on her right, she sparkled! Not just because of the diamonds, but because of her sweet smile and charming personality that seemed to just shine from her! She immediately enveloped me in a hug and said the nicest words I could have imagined “It is so nice to meet you! I absolutely love your Leo  diamond studs”. From that moment on, we did not stop talking! We have become best of friends and I always remind myself how lucky I am to have her as a future mother-in-law. She’s brilliant!

Buff Brides and Heavyweight Diamonds

Madonna  is my role model but not because I want to study Kaballah – trust me, I don’t want to start spending $30 on a mystical red string  .  I envy her because of her body!  She is soooo toned and defined, and the best part is that she’s almost 50.  Me on the other hand, I’m about 21+ and I can only dream about having her body now, let alone anything remotely like it when I’m 50.  Right always tells me he loves me just the way I am, but honey, I’ve seen him turn his head when hotties pass us by on the street.  (It’s ok, after all, I can’t deny that I check out other men – we may be engaged but we’re not dead!) 

So the age-old question is, how do us brides get to look like all these buff celebrities?  I was recently browsing an article about Tom and Katie  (if I didn’t marry Right, it would have been Tom), when it mentioned that Tom enrolled Katie in this program called Buff Brides to get her in shape after birth for their wedding.  You better believe that if it’s good enough for Katie, then it’s good enough for me.  So I put on my detective’s cap to find out about Buff Brides and did some research.  And guess what I found – this is a brilliant program that New York Sports Club  runs.  They’ve recently changed the name to Wedding Ready  and created a 12-week program for brides (or anyone in the bridal party) who want to shed some weight before the big day.  You don’t even have to be a member of the club to join.  Really, whoever thought of this should be promoted to CEO.   

What’s next? Once you start your buff brides routine, to keep the motivation, just hang a picture of Kirstie Alley  on your fridge pre Jenny Craig.  We all know that story.

So now that I know how to get in shape for my big day, do you really think I can hit my target weight?  Besides the fact that my Leo Diamond  will always add some weight (which hopefully will only get heavier and be upgraded for an anniversary ), is there such thing as too much weight loss?  After all, I know that I definitely do not want to pull a Star Jones – I personally liked her better before she vacuumed herself out.  Do you think that’s why she got thrown off The View ?  Whatever the reason, no bride should ever aspire to look like her.  I don’t know about her husband, but I know for a fact that Right also appreciates my love handles every so often.

Ladies, here’s my final piece of advice to you – go for it and take the buff brides challenge.  But remember, if you do have some issues on your wedding day, I’d be more than happy to let you in on a little secret – the world of Spanx  …

Vendor Bender

So, I’ve been working hard planning away, and settling all the details for what will be the Wedding of the year among my circle of friends.  Up to now, I’ve been having a fabulous time making all the choices and interviewing the people I might hire.  But recently, I found out that I’d been duped!!! Shockingly, my videographer took my deposit, then closed up shop, and moved out of town.  And, he left no forwarding address, no way to get in touch with him.
I haven’t been this upset since seeing all those internet photos of Lindsay Lohan wearing a bikini!!  Seriously, if I had her rear end, I’d ONLY wear a bikini; as it is, seeing those photos of her just makes me want to move to the South Pole.

Anyway, this videographer just swindled me out of $1,000.00, and I’m furious, so I thought I’d spread the word about how not to have this happen to any of you dear readers in the future. This advice applies to all kinds of vendors – music bands, florists, caterers.too.

Be wary if they:
Ask for upfront money to save your date even without a contract. Once you hand over the money it is as good as gone. NEVER make a payment without a contract - or at the very least, a receipt.  (**This was my mistake, and I paid dearly!!!)

Can’t give you any previous clients to call as references. This is a HUGE red flag. Reputable vendors will provide you with at least three references, if not more.  If the vendor is just starting out and hasn’t built up his reference list yet; ask if he is willing to waive the deposit. This way you don't lose any money if he makes a mistake. Personally, I’d rather use a more seasoned veteran than a newbie who may have not yet worked out all his or her kinks.  Do trust your instincts.

Seem unorganized during your conversations. Chances are, if they’re not taking notes, they won’t remember what you want.  If this bothers you as much as it does me, just move on to the next choice because it’s not worth the hassle of dealing with someone who may forget something along the way.  You need to feel confident in the people you have working for you, especially on this event.

Won't be clear about their fees from the start. Don’t waste your time with someone who just wants to play games.  If they don’t want to be pinned down about their costs, it may be because they want to see what you are willing to pay.  Only deal with people who are clear about what they charge. Sometimes a vendor may not be able to give an estimate on the spot because further calculations need to be made. But to save yourself some time, make sure you get the estimate by fax, mail or email before you meet with him again.
Have negative things to say about a competitor in front of you. This is highly unprofessional and a reputable business owner doesn’t need to insult a competitor in order to make himself appear better. This is the behavior of someone who is untrustworthy.

Are difficult to get in touch with. Some of these guys are small businesses, or they work during the day at other jobs, but you should not have to leave more than one or two messages before someone calls you back if you are seriously considering hiring them. A vendor that wants your business is going to call you back quickly.

Just don’t understand what you’re looking for. Why bother.  Don’t lock horns from the start.  It may be an ego thing, or a simple inability to communicate.  Either way, go find someone willing and able to do the job you want done.  This is your wedding – don’t compromise, unless it’s with your hubby-to-be.

Those are just a few don’ts I thought of as went back over what I should and shouldn’t have done in this matter.  For more help planning your big day, check out www.howtoremarry.com, where you’ll read many excellent wedding planning tips.
Well, even if I can’t get back my $1,000.00, at least I’ve been able to clear my head, learn a lesson and move on.  THANK GOODNESS, I got my engagement ring www.theleodiamond.com from a reliable source!

Do You Need a Diamond To Be Engaged?

I thought I might entitle this entry “How to Know if You’re Engaged,” but my readers just might think I considered them idiots.  However, a recent article in People magazine  stated that Janet Jackson doesn’t know if she’s engaged.  She’s thinks she might be, because the little guy who could possibly be her fiancé (aka Jermaine Dupri) says they might get married on September 26th to coincide with the release of her new album, naturally.   Hmmm…  Do you think he might show up with a marriage license…that he might have drawn her blood in her sleep without her knowing about it…that he might be thinking of some other woman to whom he’s actually engaged? 

Or, maybe it’s just a way to avoid giving her a beautiful diamond engagement ring, like my Leo Diamond.  Because one sure way to know that you are engaged is to have the guy say, “Will you marry me?” while putting a diamond of any size or shape – round brilliant, marquise, princess cut, pear-shaped, oval or whatever (you can check out the full complement of shapes at www.elexese.com) on the fourth finger of your left hand.

And it doesn’t have to cost a fortune.  There are some amazing diamonds even at Wal-Mart called Facets of Fire, that are masterfully cut for beauty and brilliance, yet very reasonably priced.  Even though I got very lucky when Right and I picked out my Leo diamond engagement ring together, most of my engaged friends had to accept what their finances picked out for them, sight unseen.  No one’s complaining of course, since it’s more what a diamond engagement ring represents that the actual carat size.  But no ring, no proposal…I just can’t buy into Janet’s confusion over the whole matter. Actually, maybe he did propose, but he’s so short anyway that Janet didn’t realize he was down on his knees! 

And if he didn’t and he’s reading this, I strongly urge him to seek counseling at the nearest Jared’s  , where an enlightened sales associate with a profound knowledge of diamonds can guide him through the process.  After which, he can log onto www.brilliantproposals.com for some ideas on how to make his intentions clear!

Enough said for today…I think I’ll take a toothbrush and some Mr. Clean to my Leo to keep it sparkling.

Buying the Wedding Dress Before You Get the Guy?

So sue me – I’m not the only girl who fantasizes about her wedding day or her wedding dress before the time comes.  I would bet lots of celebrities do this since they’re all about show-stopping marriages and remarriages.  And after all, since I’ve been a bridesmaid about a zillion times and have seen every wedding dress under the sun, it’s only natural that I had some idea in my head (ok every detail decided even down to the lace) of what I wanted my dress to look like for my plunge into married life.

Le’ts take Vaughniston (Jennifer and Vince for those who don’t know) for example.   The word on the street about them is that they’re engaged!  On a side note, he happens to be one of my personal favorites, but of course not as cute as my Right.  As for her, even though it’s going to be the second time around, I’d bet she’s thought about her gown already.  Of course for someone in a Cinderella gown, she needs a Cinderella diamond…My mom told me she heard that Jennifer got a 9.5 carat ring – do you think it’s a Leo Diamond ?  And by the way, they’re denying their engagement but isn’t that what celebrities are supposed to do!?

Finding a gown is something brides are inherently good at, like a maternal instinct only that your baby is, instead, your dress.  So naturally, a newly engaged woman immediately buys all the bridal magazines on the rack so she can start hunting down the perfect dress.    For me, the wedding dress was definitely one of the first things on my mind.  After all, this is the one day where you have the chance and right (the other one, not my Honey) to stand out and be, excusably, the complete center of attention.  What better way to do that than in the most stunning dress.  Jennifer probably has Vera  designing it, but for those of us who’d prefer the more adventurous route, we must explore other means.  For instance, next week is Filene’s Basement’s annual Running of the Brides event .  I’ve mentioned this event in the past.  Girls, get your Nikes  on because you’ll need them for this outing, trust me.  Yahoo has even given you tips on what you’ll need for this event besides your sneakers and claws. And trust me, it’s not always such a pretty site (although hopefully very worthwhile). 

However, I must confess.  I thought about my dress way before my engagement, even before I met Right.  But that’s normal, isn’t it?  Unless you want to end up like Nicole Kidman, whose Balenciaga  wedding gown supposedly didn’t fit – I guess she mistakenly bought a size 0 instead of a size 2 – there’s nothing wrong with planning ahead.  In my book, this is called “strategizing.” 

And if it’s a second marriage you’re contemplating, well check the etiquette at www.howtoremarry.com and see what’s cool t wear!

To conclude my rant, if you’re smart, look for the dress at the Running of the Brides event if you aren’t engaged yet, but be sure not to tell your man.  What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him and he’ll thank you later on when he realizes how much money you’ve saved him!

Love Gifts Don’t Always Have to Be Diamonds

The other day a friend asked me if she should bring a gift to an engagement party she was attending.  My immediate reaction was to laugh and say “HELLO!  Of course you do, unless you want everyone to talk abut you.”  Then I realized that she really didn’t know the proper etiquette, so I added that though it isn’t expected, it’s always appropriate to bring a gift to a special event, and directed her to www.howtoremarry.com, which has myriad information on wedding etiquette.  The gift can be as simple as a bouquet of pretty flowers to be enjoyed during the evening, as practical as the ever needed blender, or as extravagant as a piece of monogrammed silver.

Weddings nowadays are surrounded by so many events.  There are showers, bachelor parties, hen parties, engagement parties, rehearsal dinners and sometimes even after-parties.  If you’re a Britney Spears type , you might celebrate your marriage with all of those events, or if you’re more a Nicole Kidman type , you might have a quiet engagement and an intimate wedding ceremony in your home town.  Most of us are somewhere in the middle.  Each event is not necessarily a gift-giving opportunity, but it can get expensive nonetheless.  I mean, just thinking about what to wear to all the parties can lead to buyer’s remorse!  (Well…maybe not if you’re anything like me!) 

My rule of thumb is to budget for two gifts, usually a shower and wedding gift.  If I’m lucky enough to be invited to other personal events like the engagement party or hen party, I try to bring a meaningful token to one of those as well.  Like for my close friend Giselle’s engagement party, when I gave her a vintage salt and pepper set similar to the one she’d always admired from my collection.  (It was such a great find on EBay !)

Everyone loves gifts, and we all know that the bride has most likely already received her favorite gift – I know my Leo engagement ring certainly is mine.  Whether the gift is a large or small one, you’re giving or receiving one, it’s a special occasion or a surprise, I think gifts can have a sense of magic when given with love!  Engagement gifts are a nice treat for the happy couple, and the engagement party is just the beginning of many memorable events!  (…More next time on how to throw a fabulous engagement party for yourself or your favorite couple!)

Brilliant Diamonds for those million-dollar Babies

There's a baby boom in Hollywood!  And it’s making me a little nervous.  I havben’t been engaged all that long, and here are these celebrities, some of whom aren’t even married yet,  popping out babies left and right.  And speaking of Right, we’re not having that conversation, not for a long time. 

Anyway, congrats to Gwen Stefani & Gavin Rossdale, Katie Holmes & Tom Cruise, Brooke Sheilds & hubby Chris Henchy and of course “Brangelina”!!!  All have brand new bouncing bundles of joy.  Even trashy celebs like Anna Nicole Smith and Britney Spears are announcing new pregnancies.  (Gives a whole new meaning to the tagline “Trimspa Baby,” doesn’t it?)

Well, regardless of some of their crazy, “out-there” names (seriously, Shiloh??) these kids are blessed with good genes and all the advantages that their prosperous parents can buy.  Only the most posh  kiddie clothes from designers like Baby Nay, Petit Bateau and Ralph Lauren, the most fabulous furniture, the best schools, and eventually the best jewels!

That brings me to my topic.  What gift does a new super-star Mommie like Gwen, Katie, Brooke or Angelina get?  You know where I’m going with this, but - Baby bling?  I don’t think so!  Who needs a bedazzled pacifier, anyway?  (For the love of Namibia, I hope that bling was clean.)  How does that wealthy two-timing hunk of man-flesh known as Brad Pitt honor his new baby momma?  Why, with quality diamonds for her, of course!  I know, Angelina’s accessory of choice seems to be a tattoo, but I can totally see her sporting a stunning diamond solitaire, not unlike my own Leo diamond engagement ring.

Let’s face it, part of the beauty of being rich and famous is having the means to buy the best, no matter what the cost.  (Or having your people do it for you.)  So, listen up celebrity stylists, personal shoppers, and those who want diamonds that shine like a superstar:

You must pay attention to those 4Cs when shopping for the best diamonds!
You must pay most attention to the CUT of said diamond – it’s the most important “C.”
You must check out the IGI or GIA certification of the diamonds.
You must buy the Elexese Diamond Fiamma Necklace !!   
(Just kidding about that last must, it was a hint for my fiancé.)

So, now that we have a future crop of celebrities, we can rest easy that we’ll have a new generation of beautiful people to fantasize about.  As for me, I’m waiting for them all to grow up, walk the red carpet and get engaged so I can check out the BLING!!!!

In Search of Diamond Studs

You may wonder if I’m talking earrings or men here. It’s both, actually.  You see, I just got off the phone with my friend Ellie, who recently moved to L.A.  We talk on the phone once a week to stay connected, but I’m not sure she’s been keeping in touch with reality.  Ever since she got there, she’s been searching for a different kind of Diamond Stud: a hottie who’s worth his weight in diamonds. 

Did Heather Mills and Paul McCartney split up, , is Jessica Simpson’s divorce from Nick Lachey final yet?  Is Wilmer Valderrama single or dating Lindsey Lohan this week?  She actually sees these tragic break-ups as opportunities to find a mate.  It’s like the poor dear has confused E online  with E Harmony.  Ellie’s dying to get herself a celeb husband, and while I try not to judge her (I mean she’s been my friend through thick and thin), I feel she’s just setting herself up for a major letdown.

I don’t want to dis my friend.  Ellie is quite a hottie herself and with her newfound career in modeling, she gets paid tons of cheddar (I’m so gangsta, yo!).  So, I’m not thinking that Ellie couldn’t snag anyone she set her sights on; I just don’t understand why - when it’s so hard to find good men – she would deliberately limit herself to such a small gene pool!!

I have to admit, I do love hearing news and gossip about the rich and famous.  In my single days, I used to fantasize about dating George Clooney or Brad Pitt.  Heck, I’m still in shock about “Brangelina.”  And maybe it’s just the difference between New York and L.A. or good mental health and insanity, but the idea that Ellie is convinced that dating one of these eligible celebrities is her destiny makes me want to shake her! 

To all you out there who identify with Ellie – remember to go out with people you like, not people you want to like you!!  And that piece of advice comes from Star Jones’ book “Shine.”  She has an excellent chapter entitled “I’m Worth Everything.” (BTW - Star’s a great example of a celebrity who didn’t marry another celebrity – those are the marriages that always seem to last!)

Personally, I’m looking for the diamond stud earrings; whether I purchase them myself or they’re given to me by my beloved Mr. Right, they’ll be a perfect addition to my jewelry box.  (And if you’re reading this honey, using informative websites like www.selectingadiamond.com and www.aboutdiamondcuts.com is a great way to find just the right quality diamonds to complement my Leo engagement ring .)