Getting Engaged

Details, details

OK, I’ve been called a control freak, and while I prefer the term “organized,” I must admit that I do like to have all my ducks in a row.  At the office, I have Nina, my assistant who helps me juggle my giant to-do list for work, AND gets me my venti Cinnamon Dolce Latte without me having to twitch an eyelid.

Unfortunately for me (and my ever growing Wedding to-do list,) Nina doesn’t fit inside my Fendi tote, and she doesn’t take my calls after 7:00 pm.  Since a wedding planner is not in our budget, and Right’s and my parents live out of town, I’ve been doing all the planning myself, and feeling a tad stressed-out about it. 

I like yoga, but to really de-stress, I always flip through back issues of Cosmo.  And there in glossy black and white, the title: Your Man: How Involved is He? just jumped out at me.  The article was talking about why men should do more volunteer work, but I could relate on so many levels.

How could I get Right more involved in planning our Wedding?  Well, after consulting a few of my favorite websites like How to Remarry and Brilliant Proposals, I realized that I first have to LET him help (whew – that’s a tough one,) then give him tasks he’ll enjoy doing.  Here’s what I found out:

Just Ask Him

You don’t have to sound stressed or needy, just tell him you need his expertise with the wedding (he’ll eat that up!)  And make sure you play off of his skills.  Your Man works in finance = great with numbers, a lawyer = tough negotiator, a physician = puts people at ease, and so on.

Let Go

This isn’t the one about loving something and setting it free, it’s about trusting the one that you love to make decisions without you.  This is very good practice for your life together.  I won’t say it’s been easy for me, but it is liberating for me to take this leap of faith with Right, it’s bringing us closer than ever.

Know your Limits

Don’t make yourself crazy, only let go of the items you can and want to.  If you are really picky about the invitations or the decor, don’t put your guy in charge of those.  Maybe he’s a music aficionado, chances are he’ll probably find a better band or pick a better song-list than you will.  Don’t worry; you can still help pick your wedding song.

Now that you’ve recruited him, what should he do?  Here are just a few things I’m handing over to Right, to free myself up for other things (like a trip to the spa with my bridesmaids!)

Food

Whether or not your guy is a foodie, it seems that ALL men like a good meal.  Let him set up a few tastings for you both, that way you can make sure he’s on the same page as you.  Or, you pick the caterer and let him choose the menu.  If he’s a real carnivore, he may want to consider a roast-beef slicing bar during the cocktail hour, or maybe he’d prefer a raw bar.  And don't forget -- food includes the cake. You decide on the look of the cake, let him pick the flavor.

Bar

This is a great way to get the groom into the party mode!  He can bone up on his wine and champagne knowledge and have fun at the same time.  He may even have a favorite cocktail that could translate into a signature drink for the reception.  (You may want to ask the names before hand, Yes to Manhattans, No to Alabama Slammers.)

Tunes

As I mentioned before, music selection is a good one for the groom to take on.  He can pick a band that knows his favorite songs and will play what he wants to hear.  (The same goes for a DJ.)  Make sure he creates a song-list and a do not play list (you might want to glance over those lists prior to the big day.) 

Honeymoon

Give him some guidelines like – “let’s go someplace where I can sport my new bikini” or “no extreme snowshoeing in Antarctica,” then let him plan the honeymoon.  You may want to help with details like choosing the hotel and planning daily excursions, but let him map out the itinerary, rent the cars and book the airlines.

Who’d have thought the girl that picked out her own Leo engagement ring, would allow her fiancee to help plan the wedding?  Well, I’m trying to keep in mind that this wedding is half Right’s. I want the day to be perfect, but I also want to be calm and relaxed so I can enjoy it.  Besides, I need to concentrate on what I’d like to give and get as a wedding gift.  I’m thinking some bling for around my neck; wonder what I can find at Kay Jewelers?  Nina, can you add that to my to-do list?

Now What???

Now that I’m in planning mode, I feel like I’ve had a million things thrown at me.  I need to make some order and sense of everything that needs to get done (in-between wedding dress shopping of course).  But how do I do this?  Imagine having a mother and mother-in-law both nagging you about every little detail – it’s no picnic let me tell you. 

So I decided to create a shopping list, like when I go to the Short Hills Mall.  I get to browse through the racks and see what catches my eye in each section.  It’s too bad I have a budget to stick to!

Here’s what needs to be thought about pretty early on:

Brainstorm – Who, what, when and where (some might even throw in why), just to name a few.

Buy a notebook/filing system – This is something you really have to be organized with or else you’ll make yourself crazy…listmania is all I have to say!  You’re creating your own wedding bible – I just hope people honor it.  This is your chance, or excuse, to go to Kate’s Paperie, one of my favorite stores, and by lots of fun stuff for this organization project.

Money talk – Who is paying for what and what are the budgets.  (Hopefully Right has some money left after splurging on my Leo.) This is key, because this will help determine your direction.  But don’t forget that you should also consider the money you want to save for life’s other big adventures, such as schooling, homes, and anything else you might want to splurge on.  Always give yourself a cushion as well and don’t, I repeat DON’T, submerge yourself in debt for this wedding (honey, it can be amazing, but it’s only a few hours of the rest of your life).

Wedding list – The who’s who of your little world.  This is where things can start to get sticky, but don’t worry, you’ll go through tons of rounds of adding and cutting.  A friend of mine just told me that he saves every wedding invitation he’s ever gotten so that he doesn’t forget whom to invite when it’s his turn at the altar (not to mention it helps him remember whom to cut from the list as well).

Set the date – None of these plans will fall into place unless you have an agreed upon date and timeframe that you’re working with.  You might have to pick more than one date to work with since, unfortunately, there are other people involved besides you and your honey (this is when you might consider eloping).

Register – Start registering early since people will buy you gifts (yay) the second you announce your engagement.  This is when you get to play with those fun registering “guns” in all the big stores like Bed, Bath and Beyond.  Right loved (or so he said) that part.

Pick the place – Start shopping around for places to get married that fit your criteria.  Don’t forget to make a list of questions – imagine if you’re kosher, yet fall in love with a place that doesn’t have a kosher caterer – then I guess you’ll just save lots of money on food at your wedding!

Hotels for out-of-town guests – Although not a necessity, if you’re getting married on a holiday weekend, it does pay to book early since hotels get sold out way in advance (unless there are those people that you’d “accidentally” like to have miss your wedding).

Dress – It’s all you, baby (or should I say princess)!  This is where you shine, but please don’t forget to keep your budget in mind when browsing.  Your dress will help determine the décor of the room as well as your bridesmaids’ dresses.

Toning and exercise – Something you probably didn’t want to think about but might have to.  By the way, I just went on Weight Watchers and so far it’s been working (even though it’s only been 2 weeks).

After you get through this first rush of things, here are a few other details to start thinking about, although I won’t go into any specifics just yet.

Invitations

Food

Music

Hair and makeup

Gifts – attendants, guests

Wedding bands (who can forget the bling)

Just call me your own personal wedding guru….

The Right Holiday Gift

I love this time of year!  Besides all the presents, everyone seems to be in the best mood, with all the pretty holiday decorations everywhere (except when I’m around those tourists who take the longest time to walk half a block). This year is particularly wonderful since I’m Catholic and Right is Jewish and our cultures will converge with gift-giving celebrations on the same day.  It’s Christmas, it’s Hanukkah, and I’m marrying the man of my dreams, who could ask for anything more - right? 

I may be the spin in his dreidel and he the tinsel on my tree, but now that I think about it things have been a bit whacky as the holidays approach.  Do we have a Christmas tree or a Menorah?  (How about a Christmas menorah – just trying to get creative here).  Where do we spend Christmas Eve?  Is one day of Hanukkah more significant than another?  Can we put the Menorah next to the crèche? And what’s the right gift to give him?  I won’t even mention his gift to me because I hope he has that covered by now!

Right says gifts are nondenominational.  He wants an iPod.  I want anything that sparkles.  Okay, so I already got a gorgeous rock when we got engaged, but don’t forget that diamonds are a girl’s best friend.  Wouldn’t my ring look stunning with a Leo Diamond pendant…even if it’s a tiny one?  Incidentally, they sell Leo’s (I hope Right is reading this) at Kay Jewelers on 34^th Street.

So decorating our apartment is one thing, but arranging our ceremony with two religions in mind has been a traumatic obstacle in the wedding planning experience.   I know I’ve found my soul mate.  All I need to do is look at my Leo engagement ring, think of our bond and I know everything will work out fine.  But the stress is killing me (not to make all you brides nervous).  That said, I checked out www.gettingremarried.com to find out how to make certain of it!  Here’s how:

Steps:

1. Start your planning with some vision of what you want.  Think of your wedding as a way to set the tone for the rest of your lives together.  For my big day, I’d like to celebrate our families, honor our spiritual beliefs and begin to blend our two worlds.

2. Next, sit down with your guy and discuss one another's values. Identify what is most meaningful to each of you about your wedding ceremony and your religions, and then start to find ways to compromise.

3. Do your research. Talk to other couples, look to the many resources available in your community, set up a meeting with religious authorities.  We’re lucky, here in New York, we have found several Priest/Rabbi “duos” who routinely do weddings together.  If this isn’t available to you, consider asking both your respective clergy members to officiate at the wedding. Or, as an alternative, you might have two separate ceremonies.

4. Choose a neutral setting in which to hold the ceremony and reception, such as a hotel, private home or a public park.  We’re thinking of having ours at a beautiful restaurant called Amuse.  Frankly, I think location is a key component to making family members feel comfortable.

5. It’s very easy to get wrapped up in the wedding reception plans.  I know I can get totally focused on the elements that will make my party “rock,” but then my sentimental side kicks in and reminds me what this day is really about.  Although it is often overlooked as just a formality, try to savor your ceremony and take every opportunity to make it meaningful for you. 

6. Once you and your fiancé have decided on the basics, you may want to consult your parents and include them in as many ways as possible. Right and I have asked each of our Dads to read from their respective religious texts. This way, both families feel included instead of offended.

Keep a good perspective, and try to have fun as you plan things out.  Spirituality may be an important component to the wedding, but it doesn’t need to be stuffy and boring.  Take for example the Leo eternity band I’ve chosen for my wedding ring; I can’t think of a better way to spend eternity – showered in diamonds from my Mr. Right! 

I love the Holidays and am dreaming of a White Christmas, but Jack Frost has really gotten out of hand this year!  It’s time to start thinking about going some place warm for the honeymoon…Fiji anyone?

The Wedding Band

Now that I’ve got my sparkling Leo, I’m in major wedding planning mode, and I’m being forced to learn the art of compromise with Right.  We just had our first wedding-related disagreement (for all you gossipers, it was not a fight), and while Right is no Russell Crowe in the temper department, we’re just not used to making team decisions yet.  Can you blame me - I’ve been single in the city for almost seven years now. I’m very independent. I mean, I NEVER have a problem getting into Bungalo 8 or Pegu, and I’ve ALWAYS hailed my own cab!  So naturally, I’m having a hard time handing over some of the wedding responsibilities to him.  I like to have my hand in all of the planning details, but music is the one thing where his hand is definitely the one rocking the cradle!  Right really wants to use his friend Joe, who everyone says is an “amazing DJ,” but I never pictured my wedding to be like a night out at Culture Club.  I’m more into an elegant orchestra – I want to waltz at my wedding, not crowd surf in my Vera Wang.  So what to do?

Think about the following:

Budget:  If there’s an area where you can save money on a wedding, this is it!  Ask yourself how important this piece of the equation is to you and the guy you love. 

Vibe: The music you choose sets the tone for your wedding, and is usually the one thing guests remember most – even more than the food (that is unless it’s really bad food – more on that subject another time.) 

Space:  How big is the wedding reception room?  You don’t want people squished into a small space with a 12-piece salsa band; but by the same token a large dance hall can feel cold with just a guy and his high-tech equipment. 

Variety:  Be sure they can play slow and fast songs, and old and new ones to get every age group out on the dance floor.

Once you’ve agreed on the kind of band you want, then:

Poll your friends:  Better yet, ask everyone you know for recommendations!

Hear them first:  Whether you go to hear them live or ask for a video or CD, you absolutely must hear them play!   

Ask for a contract:  Get everything in writing!  

Hire the fashion police:  Don’t shy away from asking what the group or DJ plans on wearing.  You want all eyes on you, not the hard bodies in the band!

Now for the most important band decision – the wedding band.  That’s my real focus, but don’t tell Right.  If he gets his choice of DJ, then I’ll make sure to get my top choice of wedding band.  So while Right ponders the music, I’ll ponder the band and check out Kay Jewelers and Jared.

Bridesmaid Dresses: Finding the Right Fit for your Friends

Toto, we are not in Brooklyn anymore!  Kleinfeld, the mecca for all brides, is to a Bride as Oz is to Dorothy.  It is THE pilgrimage, a journey you must make.  Like Emerald City, it too is filled with lots of “sparkle.”  And just in time for my nuptials, they’ve moved from their original Brooklyn location to their posh new Manhattan showroom on West 20^th Street. It’s like clicking your red ruby slippers three times and landing in the Wizard of Wedding’s workshop. So while Dorothy brought along Scarecrow, Tin-man, and the Cowardly Lion, my posse consisted of my loyal bridal party - Scarlet, Tina, and Coco.

What an experience it was to shop with my bridesmaids.  We made a day of it.  First, I took the gang over to the new Kay Jewelers on 34^th Street to show them my wedding band and to get my ring resized.  (That Zone Diet did wonders for my fingers)  I could see those girls turning shades of green – what can I say, Right has great taste!  Then, we went on to Kleinfelds. 

Lions and tigers and bears, oh my…they should have changed this to lions and tigers and bridesmaids, oh my.  No sooner did we step through the revolving doors, when the satin and lace began to fly!  You thought brides were bad, but you haven’t seen anything until you’ve seen my bridesmaids.  Tina spotted a peachy-coral number by Laundry to show off that spray-tanned bronze skin of hers, just as Coco zeroed in on a Nicole Miller with a plunging neckline. And let’s not leave out dear Scarlet, my maid of honor, who was actually giving the salesman (yes, a few straight guys work there) her digits in the hopes of getting his employee discount!  Rather than bailing, I decided to step in before total chaos ensued and the girls forgot our objective - to pick out fabulous but not so fabulous as to upstage the Bride bridesmaid dress!

I took charge as the designated Wizard and used the following as guiding principals:

The Look:  How do you want your maids’ dresses to set off your own gown? Look for a style that suggests the same feel as yours but is still different.

Keep it Friendly:  Don't try to make yourself look good by dressing your maids in something gruesome. Your guests will see right through because trust me, I’ve seen it done before!  Also, stay away from styles that make your maids look frumpy or sexless.  Just think, if you’re nice to them now then hopefully they will reciprocate when it’s your turn to maid for them.

Cost:  This is always a touchy one.  Keep it affordable for everyone. You know what your peers are willing to spend.  By all means, don’t make anyone feel uncomfortable.

Choice:  Before you take them shopping, narrow it down to 2 or 3 dress options for them to choose from.  Or consider letting your bridesmaids wear dresses of their own choice as long as they are a certain color.  Something I’ve seen done before – pick out the color and fabric and give it to them so that each can make up their own dress.  Having happy bridesmaids it better than having uniformly ugly bridesmaids.

At the end of our trip to Oz, we managed to agree on a hot dress.  Sounds like a fairy tale, but we actually found something in the most flattering cut and color, at the most reasonable price, that each bridesmaid will be able to wear again.  Lucky me, I don’t need to look farther than the sparkling Leo engagement ring on my finger to see exquisite cut and color, not to mention brilliant clarity and 1 and a half carats. 

Goodbye, yellow brick road, hello Red Carpet…Stay tuned to hear about the trip to buy my gown.  I enlisted Mom and Dad’s help for that event – or let’s just say I enlisted their credit card…can anyone say American Express Black Card….maybe someday over the rainbow… 

Choosing the Bridesmaids

And the winner is…

So I’m up to the point in my wedding planning where I have to choose my bridesmaids.  The truth is, my friends have been bothering me about it ever since the ring was placed on my finger.  The congratulations phone call from each of them went pretty much the same way, with each one somehow managing to weasel the bridesmaid question somewhere into the conversation…and let me tell you, it wasn’t pleasant.  It’s not like choosing which pair of shoes to wear in the morning to spice up an outfit…this decision has many more ramifications (if you can imagine that).  So, how do you choose?

I started thinking that the best way to choose might be by deciding who can handle wearing the “stunning” dress, but that would probably eliminate most of my close friends from the race.  So after some thinking and convincing from Right, I realized it’s not about any of the materialistic things – it’s about having your closest friends supporting you on the most important day of your life.

My next thought – what do celebrities do?  Do you think Katie Holmes is having bridesmaids, if she makes it to her wedding day before she pops out that baby?   Or what about Brad and Angelina, that is, if they don’t have a secret wedding somewhere.  And then there’s always Renee Zellweger, who had a spur-of-the-moment wedding on the beach without bridesmaids I’m guessing.  But, look at how long that one lasted even though she claimed to be in marital bliss – maybe she didn’t get the perfect Leo Diamond like I got.

I’ve been a bridesmaid so many times that I can practically write the etiquette book on it.  But do you think I have to reciprocate to all those that asked me, even if I’m not close with some anymore?  What would my book of bridesmaid etiquette suggest?  Well, I think that you have to ask the people closest to you, those who you want standing at your altar (and will be in your wedding pictures FOREVER).  But honesty is the best policy – if there is someone expecting to be asked but you know you do not want to have, sit down and explain the situation to them.  I know I always appreciate someone being upfront with me.

But how many is too many (and I’m not talking about pairs of jeans)?  My gut instinct tells me to base it on the number I can handle looking at in those hopefully fabulous dresses, but this probably isn’t very realistic.  Let’s think about a few things.  First off, you want a group that is small and personal, as opposed to an army.  Next, you have to think about the expense for both you and them.  You have to supply the flowers along with any other expense you decide to cover for them; and they have to worry about the dress, gifts, and lots of other things such as the shower and bachelorette party.  And don’t forget about the size of the ceremony room – you want to make sure they can all fit up there at the altar, although hopefully everyone will be oohing and aahing at you standing on the altar and not them.  And by the way, you do not have to have as many bridesmaids as groomsmen. 

Besides the dress, which is clearly a HUGE thing for the bridesmaids, you have to think about their gifts.  No one says you have to spend a fortune, but it should be something with thought put into it (sometimes thought can be put into a great pair of shoes, too).  It could be something to use for the wedding, something personalized and customized, or even something you made yourself.  Remember, as with lots of other things, it’s quality not quantity i.e. $$$.  Check out Red Envelope – they always have some cute ideas.

Enough of my blabbering.  Now get to it.  You have lots of choosing to do….

The New Me

Meet my new boyfriend, Leo - he has the most amazing taste in diamonds.  He’s been one of my main preoccupations as I sit here, high on love and staring at my sparkly ring finger.  I’ve also been busy taking peeks at Kay Jewelers, only during my lunch breaks of course, as I consider the options for my wedding band.  Right and I have been basking in our new status as an engaged couple and doting on each other non-stop.  In our (everlasting) romantic mode last week we went to Republic, our favorite noodle shop, where we enjoyed the best chicken udon in the city.  We were talking about our plans for Thanksgiving when I was completely blind-sided, and it wasn’t by someone else’s fabulous bling.

It hadn’t occurred to me that there would be anything to discuss other than how we would get to the airport.  I was imagining Right rubbing SPF on my back as we ate leftover turkey sandwiches while basking in the sun at the beach near my parents’ house in Florida, when he started going on about the New England tradition that is his family’s “annual tag football game”.  (Do you think Manolo makes sneakers?)  Then I realized – Oh my God, I am his just as much as he is mine.  He’ll be involved in my turkey day plans for the rest of my life.

Now, I’ve been in a few serious relationships but this is really uncharted territory for me!  Does this mean that I now have to worry about taking care of and accommodating someone else forever? Right is my soul mate, he’s the perfect man for me and I know that I don’t need to protect myself in this situation, so why don’t I automatically want to spend Thanksgiving with his crew?  Or is it that I just can’t imagine spending the holiday without my own family or maybe it’s really that I don’t want to miss a chance to tan?

So, before I required a Botox, injection for the almost permanent crease in my furrowed brow (and it wouldn’t be my first Botox injection), I had to get to the bottom of my feelings: 

What does it mean to be engaged?  Literally to engage is to set in motion.  You can definitely say that lots of new things have been set in motion here.  Well, since this isn’t an arranged marriage, we’re on our own so the first step must be to get the ball rolling:  Proposal made and accepted; NEXT - the ring has already been checked on the to-do list. 

What does being engaged feel like?  A roller coaster of love, devotion, anxiety, claustrophobia, sadness, trust, pride, adoration, joy, anticipation…the list goes on and on. Emotions reach new heights as we prepare to take on our new roles of wife and husband.  It’s also very weird to think that I’ll be leaving my familiar identities of single woman and girlfriend, let alone changing my last name to someone else’s.  I guess you have to take the good and the not as good all in stride.

What do we do now?  This is where communication comes into play, when suddenly all of our decisions must be made with the other in mind (and sometimes parents, friends, and in-laws too!)  Right and I sat down and figured out what is important for us and our future family so we could clue-in everyone else.  As Right and I talked, we realized that we need to take our time as we plan our wedding and map out our future.  (And, of course the longer our engagement, the longer I am the center of attention, although that could sometimes get messy with the in-laws!)

Being on such a high can be hard work.  Staying connected to each other and feeling close when all this emotion is going on can be even harder work.  Let’s face it - I’m changing, Right’s changing, and we’re changing as a couple.  We’re learning how to feel this roller coaster of feelings, separately and together.  Even though we haven’t decided on our Holiday plans just yet, after talking about it with Right, I am able to look at my Leo engagement ring and take comfort in the realization that I am his just as much as he is mine.  Now let’s just hope that my next stop on this new ride isn’t the circus – Thanksgiving with his family…

Extreme Makeover

I’m going to be very honest with you but don’t get scared - my life is being consumed by my wedding, day in and day out.  With my days being spent thinking about even the tiniest of details, there’s one question that I can’t seem to shake - do I need an extreme makeover?  You might think I’m crazy for even contemplating this, but here’s my logic - tons of people are going to be watching me parade down the aisle in my Vera Wang gown (I wish), so how could I think of looking anything less than divine.  Just take all the stars for example.  There is a cover story almost every week in those picture book National Enquirer-type magazines about celebrities and their extreme makeovers, one of my favorites being Oprah.  She’s without a doubt one of the most accomplished women, and she’s applied her brilliance (just like a diamond) to her image.  Her extreme makeover has meant that she’s lost tons of weight and has managed to keep it off.  On her website, she has a section dedicated to a weight loss boot camp – I guess she’s trying to get into the diet business craze, as if she doesn’t have enough money.  So with Oprah’s inspiration, I find myself pondering if I need my own extreme makeover and what kind of makeover that would be.

During one of my recent trips on the scenic Madison Avenue bus, I was browsing through the latest issue of In Style Weddings and came across something very interesting – according to them, you can transform yourself for your wedding with the “do-it-yourself” makeover method (and I highly doubt they mean injecting yourself with botox).  They recommend concentrating on three things in the months before your wedding – regular exercise, healthful eating, and minimal stress.  I got the exercise thing covered – I’m a yoga addict for those of you that don’t know.  Healthful eating – I admit, I have my moments of weakness (a chocolate a day keeps the doctor away), but overall I’m pretty good.  As for the stress factor, this is a biggee, especially during wedding planning when you have two “wonderful” mothers and their even more wonderful opinions.  I guess it just means I’ll have to go on monthly spa vacations to detox from all the chaos.

What about the television show Extreme Makeover?  Currently, they have a casting call looking for an engaged couple willing to be victims of a makeover – check it out (http://www.howtoremarry.com/).  Is this the type of exaggerated makeover us brides should be seeking?  I find these types of shows to be fascinating because people become so emotionally involved.  I guess it depends on the extent of the makeover and how greatly it affects someone’s life.  For me, I just care about how I look strutting down the aisle and in my wedding pictures …after that, take me as I am.  This brings me to my next point that part of this is also about the attitude.  You think people love Oprah for the way she looks, but her attractiveness is also about her attitude and spunk.  She captures your attention.   

So how should I approach this – to what extent does a bride need to be made over for her wedding?  I don’t foresee any plastic surgery in the near future – especially if I’ve survived until now without a nose job, botox, or anything else.  I should be ok for a few years (but in 30 years we’ll talk about that face-lift).  Come to think of it, some other “body parts” are quite lacking, but we’ll save that for another time and place. So for me, my makeover will ultimately be about my primping and prepping on the wedding day – hair, makeup, and all that other fun stuff.  Here’s my suggestion for some stress relief, which is what I’ll be needing lots of – go to a spa and call it a day.  You can try Bliss Spa, Elizabeth Arden, and Soho Sanctuary just to name a few.   I hope I take my own advice.

On a final note, I often wonder what Right, as the guy, thinks about makeovers.  But he must like me as I am – after all, he did agree to marry me.  So don’t worry about your fiancé when it comes to this stuff because honey, it’s all about you!